Billy Ward - Diary Of A Moving Musician - Part 2

[To see Part 1 of Billy's diary, click here]

Welcome to my second entry about my move to Nashville from New York City.  This last short month of February has unfolded in four parts; old business, new business, transition and recovery.

Old business

My late wife’s art estate has been properly catalogued and is now in ultra-safe storage with a firm that specializes in fine art.  The amazing surprise about this (most tedious and at times painful) experience was to discover that the professionals who did the organising, photographing and eventual storing of this art slowly and surely fell in love with Maura’s art to such as degree that by the time they were finished, they begged me to keep her work there in storage. They offered me a price that was so low I was able to say, “Yes” and “Thank-you.” 

Transition

In spite of the good fortune mentioned above, I felt so many feelings.  I was really and truly now peeling away from my past and entering a new future.  I love the Nashville house and initially I’m approaching my time in Nash as a retreat.  I am starting a new downbeat in my life in so many ways; the move to another city is the easiest leap.   So when I suddenly had congestion in my head that was dripping out my nose and into my lungs, I was not surprised.  I ended up staying in the house for a full nine days in the middle of February as this illness extended into Asthma.  My doctor said it is common for folks from the northeast to freak out from allergies because it is warmer and everything is blooming.  No matter where you, my reader, live I’d imagine you would agree with me that this winter has been very strange. 

Anyway, I embraced the storm of feeling like total poop and watched so many movies on TV that I gave serious thought to canceling my cable service!  This is not to mean that I did not improve on my musical development.  I so enjoyed having all my drums in the house, I nurtured them all and tweaked them and I took an inventory of what I had (and what I needed).  I donated one of my kits, the Eco drums, to Sound Emporium Studios, which, more and more, is becoming my home when I wish to record a project of my own. 

New Business

Do you realize that I’ve not played drums for more than five minutes at a time since I played the Modern Drummer Festival ’08?  It was right after that show that my wife took ill.  I played a few recording sessions during those four years, but never played that much. One or two takes and then a two-hour break has been the norm. I am certain that the fact that the drummer only gets to play as long as the song lasts is one of the main reasons I enjoy engineering and producing.  I like having my ears in on the fun for a lot more than just the length of a song. 

With so much time away from the kit, I feel quite insecure about my playing.  I met a studio owner who, after a lengthy discussion of our mutual past experiences, exclaimed “I’m going to hire you for a session now – simply based on who you have played with!”  My answer?  “I just want to play good music – don’t care about the money.”  

I’m not sure how you would read this, but what do you think I was really doing in saying that?  A massive fail.  I was throwing up an obstacle to him.  I later realised that I was uncertain that I was worthy of his faith! 

You’ve got to have brass balls in this so-called business and I’ve got to strap mine back on.  I am now committed to the unfolding of March bringing me an opportunity to play my drums – and play them a lot.

Recovery

I’ve accepted doing a clinic in Saskatchewan in July.  I also did a wee bit of recording at my home studio for a record  by myself and some members of my forum over at billyward.com.  The rules were you had to do the whole record in one month, and of course, February is the shortest month of the year.  Just simply peeling something off and having the balls to put it out is a very good exercise. 

I really enjoyed doing my song – which is kind of a (bad) rap tune about making chicken soup.  Ha!  I also just taught a small class of interns and college students an audio engineering course focused, of course, on recording drums.

However, the best thing I’ve done lately is I’ve joined a local YMCA.  I need to work out on a regular basis and get healthy.   After spending so much of my life caring for others, I need to learn to take care of me.  I’m shaking my head as I write this thinking “what a selfish prick!” Now I’m looking back across this piece and seeing how often I said “I”.

I’ll get there. 

Billy